I want to be a psychotic killer when I grow up.

My student begins this conversation. 

'I want to be a dictator. Or a spy. What was the name of that guy? Burgess?'

'Guy.'

'Yes, what was that guy's name?'
 
'It was Guy. He's called Guy Burgess.' 

'Yeah, that's pretty cool. Being a spy would be ok. I would like that.'

'Why?'

'The power and that. The girls too.'

'You know I am not sure Guy was that interested in girls.'

'How do you mean?'

'I think he preferred men.'

'No.'

'Yes, I think so.'

'That's fine. I don't have a problem with that.'

'In fact it was quite common that spies were gay. Even in the time of Elizabeth I. Although gay might be an anachronistic term. Male friends with early modern benefits might be more appropriate. 

'What?'

'Nothing.'

'Why were spies gays?'

'You mean why did some people who were gay become spies?'

'Yeah.'

'Perhaps it was a way to feel loyal but remain on the outside. Or perhaps they just liked to travel.'

'Burgess was a traitor though.'

'He was.'

'The thing is not to get caught.'

'Yeah. That is one of the drawbacks of the job although some gay men might go in for that scene in the new Casino Royale with the chair.'

'What?'

'Plus you wouldn't be able to tell anyone you were a spy.'

'Perhaps not then. A dictator is easier.'

'Whatever you say.'

'Call me sir.'

'I don't do role play.'

'You are my servant.'

'No, I'm your teacher.'

'My mum pays you.'

'Ok. I work for your mum.' 

'I could have you killed.'

What we don't say.  

'Or we could just do this source paper so you can grow up and become an investment banker like your daddy.'

'What is wrong with my dad's job?'

'He is fat and bald and he does bad things with money. He probably has a mistress too.'

'Don't talk about my dad that way.'

'Go f**k your dad.'

'Daddy pays your rent.'

'Damn. You win that one. But you are losing the game of free choice. You're really good at drawing and photography and your parents are making you drop art.'

'So.'

'Feels like you are giving in to their desires rather than thinking about what you actually want to do with your life.'

'No.'

'You won't be a spy. You'll be an investment banker and, you'll be just the same as your daddy.'

'My dad will fire you.'

'Too late, I'm quitting. This is my last lesson because I feel degraded.'

'Degraded?'

'You aren't worth my time.'

'Whatever.'

'But really you aren't.' 

'Stop it.'

'No. Let's not pretend anymore.'

'What?'

'I hate this time with you. I hate your attitude and I hate mine too. Let's end this now.'

We sit and stare at the work and understand that we have nothing to give one another. An abyss opens up and we wonder who is going to jump first.